Somtimes, I wonder how the world works

I am feeling very introspective right now, so please bear with me in this post. :) For a long portion of my life, i felt like things never really worked out for me. then, once i went off to college at UT, things started to change. Bad things still happened, but it seemed that there was a purpose for those things. it seemed that having bad things happen allowed for new good things to happen. Kind of like, "when one door closes, another will open". Some things in life really make me think about the idea of fate. Some things really make me think about why things happen and is there someone out there making those things happen or is something we do completely on our own.

as most of you know, i am still searching for my beliefs on faith, spirituality, religion (whatever you want to call it). I am currently reading a book titled "Does God Believe in Atheists?" It is written my John Blanchard and is basically a defence of belief in God. as far as what i have read, it seems to be written in a non preachy, understandable way. I find myself shutting off very quickly when people try to preach to me about their spiritual belifs. This guy seems to have a different approach that i think i might like.

I guess i wonder, do things (good and bad things) in this world happen for a reason? or do they happen because we make them happen or do they happen because we work really hard for those things or do they happen becauase someone or something out there is allowing them to happen. I dont know. i am still looking for the answer to those questions. hopefully reading up on many different views will help my find some answers.

Anyway, i feel that i am just rambling now...so i will talk more about how my week has been. Well, monday night football at mark and nat's was wonderful. It was a great time and i was really glad everyone got to meet Michael and that he had a good time also. Tuesday, was a pretty long day, but i made it through. Much work, much class, and then a stop at the parent's house to pick up my car. Wednesday wasnt too bad. Internship went well. I felt like a good therapist for about 2 hours after seeing the client i was a bit worried about meeting with. I feel like we really made some progress. But, later that day i met with another client and it didnt go so well. oh well, i guess it is a learning process and i am definitley still learning.

Today was wonderful. I didnt have to go to my internship because school was out today, so michael and i hung out most of the day. It was nice to be able to just spend some time with him knowing that neither one of us had to be anywhere any time soon. good times. :) now, i am just sitting here catching up on emails and blogging and am about to continue reading my book and then hit the sack in order to prepare for a long work day followed by an evening of babysitting. I will keep you all posted on what i find out in this book. well, good night.